2014 USCF US Senior Chess Embarrassment

The headline at the USCF website reads, “US Senior Open Cruises On.” Below that one finds, “Thirty four players, including six-time US Champ GM Walter Browne will compete for the title of U.S. Senior Open Champion aboard the amazing Allure of the Seas.”

I rest my case. Only thirty four players decided to “ante up” and take a chance on a “three hour tour.”
I have previously written about the US Senior being played aboard a ship. When I mentioned the pitiful turnout to the Legendary Georgia Ironman today he said, “I’ve never been on a cruise and I don’t think I would want to if hit by the rolling thunder.” There is nothing like the prospect of being in time trouble while seasick.

Earlier this summer I noticed this headline, “Massive brawl breaks out on Island Belle,” (http://www.thehour.com/news/nw-police/massive-brawl-breaks-out-on-island-belle-during-summer-cruise/article_669ad4ab-0716-5a23-8c09-2bf24bbb6e6d.html) and wondered if the US Senior Open had put out to sea, so I checked, finding the chess cruise was still months off.

Later I spotted this one, “ROYAL CARIBBEAN Ship Sports Robot Bar.” I was conversing with a gentleman after reading the article who, as it so happens, had just been on a cruise with a robot bartender. He said the thing could make a decent drink but had a problem if a customer wanted something other than what the recipe called for. “I asked the thing for a splash of Tabasco and it turned on me saying, “This ain’t Burger King, bub!” (http://www.engadget.com/2014/08/25/quantum-of-the-seas/)

OK, I admit this is not exactly true… I made up the “bub!” part.

How about this one?

“Cruise passengers call for stricter government oversight of industry.”

By Marianne LeVine

“Angry former cruise ship passengers, including one who said she was raped by a ship employee and a woman who blamed inadequate shipboard medical care for her mother’s death, are calling on lawmakers to impose tighter restrictions on the industry to protect travelers from what they called undisclosed criminal activity.” (http://www.latimes.com/nation/la-na-cruise-crime-20140724-story.html)

Just the place for a Senior chess tournament, wouldn’t you say?

At the end of the USCF article one finds this: “The Senior Open is sponsored this year by Vegas Chess Festivals and Card Player Cruises. This is the first Senior Chess Cruise in 13 years but we hope to do more in future years.” (http://www.uschess.org/content/view/12800/772/)

I mean, why not, since this one was so successful!

Upon clicking on the link provided by USCF one finds this, written by the man behind such a successful tournament:

“Chess (and Poker) on the High Seas”
by Alan Losoff

“Last Fall my wife and I cruised with Card Player Cruises on the Allure of the Seas. They hosted a first class poker room with tournaments and cash games as well as extra activities for our group. We had a great time. Wouldn’t this be a great venue for a chess tournament! Until 12 years ago the U.S. Senior Open was held on a cruise every other year and I thought it was time to restart that tradition.” (http://www.vegaschessfestival.com/senior2014/)

Only two people have commented on the USCF article, one of whom left this:

by chessmast123 on Tue Sep 16, 2014 4:21 pm

“I was going to play in either this one or the us masters — this year I chose the other tournament for a number of reasons and skipped this one.”
Keep in mind this fellow chose not to play when reading his closing remarks:
“I like the idea of making this national tournament a cruise every other year. It’s more expensive but well worth it.”

Don’t ‘cha just love it?!

Jaime Brockett – Legend of the USS Titanic (FULL)

Lyrics

http://www.rkdn.org/titanic%20lyrics.htm

The 2014 Chess For $eniors Challenge

Thad Rogers allowed me to take a flyer printed on a piece of paper used in most computer printers advertising the “2014 Chess For $eniors Challenge.” The “S” in “Seniors” is a dollar sign, and it made me think of the word “oxymoronic.” There are five states-six if you count the bastard state of West Virginia, with each a different color. There is a star in each state, with an arrow from the city in which a Senior tournament was, or will, be held. For example, the flyer shows “Greenville, April 19-20” for the Great State of South Carolina. I wrote about the tournament in the post of May 2, 2014, The South Carolina Senior Chess Championships (https://xpertchesslessons.wordpress.com/2014/05/02/the-south-carolina-senior-championships/).
Virginia is the only state shown with two tournaments. The next one is in Blacksburg, July 11-13. The prize fund is only $600, as shown on the website (http://www.chessforseniors.org/index.php). So much for the $ in “Senior.”
The next “Senior” tournament shown on the website, but not the flyer, is the “World Open Senior Amateur,” a particularly reprehensible tournament because it discriminates against higher rated players by excluding any Senior player unfortunate enough to be still alive and rated over 2210. Since the tournament is called “Amateur” it can only mean that Bill Goichberg considers anyone rated 2211 or higher a professional. Since true pros are allowed to play in USCF “Amateur” events, there seems to be an inconsistency by the exclusion of most Masters.
The tournaments have not drawn well. For example, there were eighteen total at the SC Senior, and twenty five at the Tennessee Senior in Crossville, the home of USCF, on May 16-18. The most recent Senior tournament on the hit parade was the forty player event in the Great State of Virginia, where there was a four-way tie for first place between Larry C Gilden; Srdjan Darmanovic; William Marcelino; & Leif Kazuo Karell. Each won a grand total of $162.50. Now that is what $enior chess is all about!
The other states shown on the flyer yet to be mentioned are the Great State of North Carolina, and Kentucky. Having lived in the latter state I can only say that the people of Kentucky were conflicted during the War For Southern Independence, and nothing has changed.
Conspicuous in absence is my native state of Georgia, along with the Great States of Alabama and Mississippi, making the map look like one of those maps of the future in which some parts of the US next to the ocean have been lopped off. The absence of Georgia can be explained by the total number of players the past two years, eight and thirteen. The total number of twenty-one for the two most recent Senior tournaments would have been a small turnout in previous years, before Fun Fong became president of the GCA. Most Seniors stayed away from the 2012 Senior because they thought the format was “crap.” Like a lower rated chess player who has made a mistake, the man now called “No Fun” Fong by many (a fellow Senior who called Mr. Fong, “No Fun” at a recent meeting of the chess mess was surprised to learn he was not the first to use the term) refused to admit his mistake and determined to force that square peg into a round hole. What Senior organization would want someone like that involved? Fun Fong has absolutely no credibility among Senior chess players in Georgia, and obviously the rest of the South.
The US Senior Open will be held aboard the Royal Caribbean Allure of the Seas out of Fort Lauderdale, FL, Sept. 14-21, according to the advertisement in Chess Lifeless. The entry fee is, “$125 with cruise reservation.” After doing my due diligence by going to the website provided (
http://www.cardplayercruises.com/brochures/2014/booking-eastcarib2014.html) I learned the cheapest available cabin, an “*inside stateroom,” will set a $enior back $829.00 pp. For some reason I keep hearing Kate Winslet as Rose in the movie Titanic yelling, “Jack!” “Jack!” while trying desperately to get out of steerage…These accommodations do not sound like the ones Bart and Bret Maverick would have chosen before the game began.
What happens when some poor $enior “land-lubber” becomes sea sick? Or “sick of the sea?” What if it turns into a “three hour tour?” Have you ever heard of the Bermuda Triangle? Then there all of the reports of major problems with cruise ships in the past years, such as previously unheard of illnesses and mechanical breakdowns in which the “cruisers” had to live with their own filth and in their own excrement. Not to mention a cruise being the best way to “knock someone off.” People frequently “fall overboard” at sea. A cruise ship would seem to be a place to commit the “perfect” murder. It would be just my luck to play the game of my life against some psychotic chess player and become the “Man Overboard!”