Bob Dylan Has His First No. 1 Song On Any Billboard Charts – No, Really
By Bruce Haring
April 9, 2020 9:03pm
He’s survived punk, disco, a deep dive into religion, the rise of boy bands and electronica, Soy Bomb and going electric. Now, 78-year-old Bob Dylan has again shown the young kids how it’s done, scoring his first No. 1 on any Billboard chart with his 17-minute song, “Murder Most Foul.”
As hard as it is to believe, the Voice of a Generation never had a No. 1 on the Billboard charts under his own name. This time, in the increasingly fractured chart world, his musical examination of the JFK murder tops the Rock Digital Song Sales category, selling 10,000 downloads.
Dylan has hits he has written rise to No.1. His “Blowin’ in the Wind” was taken to No. 1 in 1963 by Peter, Paul and Mary, and the Byrds’ scored the top slot with his “Mr. Tambourine Man” in 1965. As strange as it seems, such classics as “Like a Rolling Stone” and “Rainy Day Women #12 & 35” were caught short of the fence, stopping at No. 2 on the Billboard Hot 100. “Lay Lady Lay” hit No. 7 in 1969.
Dylan remains a road warhorse, doing more than 60 dates per year after years of doing more than 100 per year on his Never-Ending Tour.
devoted an entire two hour program, which aired April 2, 2020, to Dylan’s new song. Bill Kelly, Dave Ratcliffe, and the irrepressible Jim DiEugenio, were exuberantly interviewed by the host, Canadian Len Osanic. While listening one can click on the numerous links which will direct a reader to numerous websites, such as Bob Dylan and Phil Ochs at Dealey Plaza. The articles to which you will be linked provide many other links, to which much time has been devoted recently by this writer. (https://blackopradio.com/archives2020.html)
A good starting point is this excellent article from which excerpts are taken.
Beyond JFK: 20 Historical References in Bob Dylan’s ‘Murder Most Foul’
The 17-minute epic touches upon obscure Civil War ballads, classic movies, and even songs by the Who, the Animals, and Billy Joel
By Andy Greene
Bob Dylan fans woke up this morning to the stunning news that the songwriter had released a 17-minute epic titled “Murder Most Foul.” “Greetings to my fans and followers, with gratitude for all your support and loyalty over the years,” Dylan wrote. “This is an unreleased song we recorded a while back that you might find interesting. Stay safe, stay observant, and may God be with you.”
It’s his first original song since 2012’s Tempest, though he has released three albums of cover songs associated with Frank Sinatra since then. The closest analogue to “Murder Most Foul” in Dylan’s vast catalog is Tempest’s title track, a 14-minute song about the Titanic.
“Murder Most Foul” centers around another historic tragedy: the assassination of John F. Kennedy. It’s packed with references only JFK buffs will likely recognize, like the “triple underpass” near Dealey Plaza, the removal of his brain during the autopsy, and the “three bums comin’ all dressed in rags” captured on the Zapruder film that conspiracy theorists have been obsessing over for decades. Clearly, Dylan has spent a lot of time reading books and watching documentaries about this.
As the song goes on, however, it veers away from JFK and touches upon several other historic events of the era. It’s sort of like Billy Joel’s “We Didn’t Start the Fire” mashed up with the Rolling Stones’ “Sympathy for the Devil.” Dylan fans will be picking this one apart for years, but here are 20 non-JFK references in the song.
“It was back around the turn of the centuries, back around nineteen hundred & thirteen there was a negro pugilist his name was Jack Johnson. Now old Jack Johnson he was the toughest man in the whole wide world he used walk around whoppin’ people up side the head ‘n makin’ all sorts of money.
Like I say ol’ Jack Johnson he was a pugilist, he was a pugilist by preference and by profession and one day ol’ Jack came walkin’ on down by the pierside. He’s just walkin on down. His manager come walkin’ on down by the pierside.
He says “uh, hi, Jack”
He says “hi manager”
He says “whatcha doin’?”
He says “I’m just walkin’ on down by the pierside.”
He says “what’s up?”
He says “I gotta gig for ya”
He says “ya gotta gig for me?”
He says “that’s right”
He says “where abouts?”
He says “over in England”
He says “hmm… what’m I gonna do over there?”
He says “well you goin’ up n’ whop this guy up side the head n’ make all sorts of money.”
Ol’ Jack says “That’s groovy baby. That’s really groovy you give me a ticket on the next flight out”
He said “ticket on the next flight out?!? This is nineteen hundred n’ thirteen. Why the Wright brothers haven’t even started foolin’ around with Kitty Hawk yet”
He said “uhh.. who’s she?”
It was midnight on the sea, the band was playing “Nearer My God To Thee”. Fare thee well Titanic, fare thee well.
Ol’ Jack says “Well how’m I gonna get there baby?”
n’ He says “ohhh I’m gonna show ya” and he whips open a newspaper n’ shows him a picture of the USS Titanic.
Folks, she’s the world’s biggest ship she’s made outta good wood and good iron they said she’d never go down.
He says “you mean I’m goin’ over on the boat”
n’ he says “that’s right baby you’re goin on the boat”
n’ he says “well, let’s go get some tickets so they head on down to the ticket taker’s place.”
He walks on up to the ticket taker he walks on in n’ he says “hey man I wanna buy me some tickets”
He said “gotta red ticket green ticket yellow ticket blue ticket what kinda ticket you want?”
He says “I wanna red one”
He gave him some loot n’ he laid it on him.
So here’s ol’ Jack he’s got his ticket now he takes everything he owns he wraps it on up in a diaper n’ he hangs it on a stick over his back n’ goes headin’ on down by the pierside.
He gettin’ on down by the pierside his manager’s down there by the pierside n’ here she is folks – the USS Titanic! She’s lined up beside two hundred n’ fifty parkin’ meters n’ the Captain’s gettin’ done ready to split ’cause he run outta dimes.
Now around this time there was an Italian senator n’ the state house n’ all Italian senators done got brothers own construction companies n’ this one had a brother he owned a construction company n’ the Titanic she was made outta good Italian wood, good Italian iron they said she’d never go down.
So there’s ol’ Jack standin’ on the bottom got everything he owns wrapped on up in that diaper hangin’ on a stick over his back. He shakes hands with his manager goes walkin’ on up the gangplank. The Captain standin’ on the top. He get up onto the top n’ the Captain he look at the ticket…
he look at the ticket
he look at Jack,
he look at the ticket
he look at Jack,
he look at the ticket
he look at Jack,
he look at the ticket
he look at Jack,
lookita
He says “sorry baby wrong color.”
He says “me or the ticket?”
n’ he says “you.”
Now he wouldn’t let Jack Johnson on board
they said this ship don’t haul no coal
Fare thee well Titanic,
fare thee well.
It was midnight on the sea,
the band was playin’ “Nearer My God To Thee”
Fare thee well Titanic,
fare thee well.
So Jack say’s “It’s all right baby it’s all right I’m gonna sit right here on the pier and watch you go right on down.”
So the Titanic she sails on out into the North sea she’s out there floatin’ around in and out between the icebergs n’ ol’ Jack’s standin’ on the pier. I’m gonna tell ya ’bout the people on the Titanic now.
First of all there’s a whole bunch of Jewish people from Miami.
They’re jumpin’ up n’ down
They’re laughin’.
They’re drinkin’ booze.
They’re tradin’ wives
n’ Cadillacs
n’ diamonds
n’ havin’ all sorts of good clean party fun.
Then there was the people that run the boat. Now the people that run the boat they know all about runnin’ boats.
They know all about hoistin’ up land lubbers
n’ battenin’ down hatches
n’ doin’ all sorts of other good things
like… all good sailors do in the far away sea.
Then there was the Captain.
Now the Captain he knows how to walk like a captain,
write like a captain,
walk like a captain,
talk like a captain,
smell like a captain,
eat like a captain,
do all sorts of captain things.
Then there was the first mate. Now I gotta tell ya bout the first mate. Now the first mate,
he don’t know nothin’ about Jewish parties.
He don’t know nothing about hoistin’ up land lubbers.
He don’t know nothin’ about captains.
He uh he wants to go on over to England he wants to play his guitar.
He wanna run around n’ chase women n’ have all sorts of good… times.
Anyways this fella’, his sideburns they’re just a little too long. He giving way, see. He… he been down in Mexico he been down in Mexico. He been workin’ in this rope factory down in Mexico now. Down in Mexico they make rope outta this funny little hemp plant that grows wild in the ground. Some of you people… grow it in flower pots under your bed… ehh Anyways, he’s down there and he’s… he’s makin’ rope outta this funny marijuana plant… One day the rope factory she catch fire n’ he runs back on in to save his lunch – he’s got two sardine sandwiches – runnin’ back on in to save his lunch he gets inside n’ there’s all this funny smoke floatin’ around up inside n’.. he gets some of this funny smoke up inside his head n’.. he sit down in the middle o’ de’ fire n’ he say, “shhhhhhhhhhhit baby, I ain’t gonna make rope no more!”
So he takes everything he owns he wraps it up on into a diaper and a knapsack too n’ he… he headin’ on to the Titanic he gets to the Titanic he standin’ on the bottom walkin’ on up the gang plank n’ the Captain’s standin’ on the top n’ the Captain says “What you got boy?”
He says “I’m comin’ on”
He says “WHAT YOU GOT!”
He says “well I got me two changes of BVD’s. I got me my guitar. I got me my address book, a… pair of socks, 4 masked marvel comic books, a tennis racquet and four hundred n’ ninety-seven n’ a half feet o’ rope.”
He says “four hundred n’ ninety seven n’ a half feet o’ rope! whadaya got that for?”
He says.. “I just carry it.”
So he says “it’s all right. Go on board, go on board” and he did.
It was midnight on the sea,
the band was playin’ “Nearer My God To Thee”
Fare thee well Titanic,
fare thee well.
Now he wouldn’t let Jack Johnson on board
they said this ship don’t haul no coal
Fare thee well Titanic,
fare thee well.
That brings us up to what’s happenin’ now – the Titanic she’s floatin’ around in and out between the icebergs, the Jewish people they partyin’ they tradin’ wives n’ Cadillacs n’ diamonds they drinkin’ booze n’ havin’ all sorts of party fun, everybody else is hoistin’ up land lubbers n’ battenin’ down hatches, the First Mate he’s hangin’ over the rail, he’s havin’ himself a little smoke… he’s diggin’ the icebergs. havin’ himself a little smoke n’ it’s the Captain’s time to do his thing. The Captain comes on out (remember I told you about the captain – he knows how to walk like captain write like captain talk like… all sorts of captain things). He comes on out n’ he’s standin’ now. His thing right now is that he’s gotta go out n’ test the wind. So he casts his nose up into the north wind n’ he goes…… ……
He walks on over to the First Mate.
He says “hey first mate what’s that you smokin’?”
He says.. “that ain’t nothin’ but a little ol’ cigarette captain”
n’ he says “I don’t believe it. Gimme a puff”
n’ he says “alright.”
So the captain takes himself a little puff. Nothin’ happened right away.
He says “it’s alright, it’s alright. It’s just a cigarette. I’m goin’ for a walk” And that’s what he did, folks. He went for a walk. He went.. he went out walkin’ around the boat he went walkin’ toward the wheelhouse he.. he walked around.
He walked around the wheelhouse once……. He walked around the wheelhouse twice……. On the third time around the wheelhouse……. The First Mate he looked on over at the Captain n’……. N’ he say……. You wanna ‘nother toke, Captain?…… And the Captain, he say……. RIGHT!!!!!!!!
So this time he’s gonna tell the captain a little bit about this smoke that he’s smokin’. He says “now the idea, Captain, the idea is to get this smoke way down deep inside your tummy n’ hold it there just as long as you can it’ll make you head feel good all inside. So the Captain says alright he takes himself three big tokes off that funny little brown weed n’
He says “I am commencing to hold it in!”
He walked around the wheelhouse.
He went downstairs
He laid down.
He get up he ran in the other room.
He sent a radiogram.
He came on back in.
He took a shower.
He come out.
He shaved.
He laid down.
He got up again.
He turned on the television.
He turned off the radio.
He played a game of cribbage.
He read his masked marvel comic book.
He walked thru the kitchen,
made a cup of tea,
made a cup of coffee,
sat down,
ate a piece of pie,
went upstairs,
played another game of cribbage,
went back in,
finished his other masked marvel comic book,
laid down,
he had the television, the radio, the egg beater, the air conditioner n’everything’s all goin’ at once. He walks up on deck and this is fifty two minutes later n’ this cat ain’t breathed yet!
So the First Mate see him standin’ up there on the rail he’s all puffed up like a balloon!
He says “ya gotta let it out, Captain!
So the Captain he let it all out at once.
Fallin’ right down on the wheelhouse floor. He’s out cold.
O-h-h-h, this just brings us up to what’s happenin’ again folks. The Titanic she’s sailin’ around in between the icebergs. Every body else is havin parties. The Jewish people they jumpin’ up n’ down they tradin’ wives n’ Cadillacs n’ diamonds n’ drinkin’ booze. Everybody else is hoistin’ up land lubbers, battenin’ down hatches n’ doin’ sail things. The First Mate’s hangin’ over there on the rail havin’ himself a little smoke n’ diggin’ icebergs. And the Captain’s out cold on the wheelhouse floor.
It was midnight on the sea,
the band was playin’ “Nearer My God To Thee”
Fare thee well Titanic,
fare thee well.
Now he wouldn’t let Jack Johnson on board
they said this ship don’t haul no coal
Fare thee well Titanic,
fare thee well.
All of a sudden…. the Captain’s eyes popped wide open. He stood right up straight….. Grabs a hold o’ de wheel…. Looks on out at the bow o’ dat boat n’ he say “I’M GONNA MOVE YOU BABY!”
And he did right on into an iceberg n’ she went right on down.
It was midnight on the sea,
the band was playin’ “Nearer My God To Thee”
Fare thee well Titanic,
fare thee well.
Now he wouldn’t let Jack Johnson on board
they said this ship don’t haul no coal
Fare thee well Titanic,
fare thee well.
That’s the true story of the Titanic, folks. She went right to the bottom. She took with her all the Jewish people, all the first mates. She took with him the Captain. She took with him the land lubbers. She took with him the masked marvel comic books, the tennis racquet and four hundred n’ ninety-seven n’ a half feet o’ rope.
Meanwhile back on the stateside, ol’ Jack Johnson… why he’s standin’ up on the pier he’s fishin’ away he’s got himself a little stick n’ a line n’ he gets a tug he pulls it on up n’ it’s a big wet blue soggy mess n’ on the inside on the lining written in big gold letters it says “USS Titanic” and stuck right above it was a wet roach.
That boy was so happy he started doin’ the eagle rock up n’ down that pier like it’s goin’ outta style he go… He gonna do the eagle rock now everybody in for the eagle rock. Oh rock!
It was midnight on the sea,
the band was playin’ “Nearer My God To Thee”
Fare thee well Titanic,
fare thee well.
Now he wouldn’t let Jack Johnson on board
they said this ship don’t haul no coal
Fare thee well Titanic,
fare thee well.
Ruth Haring is the President of the USCF board. She begins her President’s Report with, “I report to you today as I complete three years as President and five years as an executive board member.”
For the five years Ruth has been on the executive board members have been leaving the USCF ship like rats on the Titanic. The numbers she provides in the charts and graphs show this fact. She even expresses the major problem in words, writing, “It is notable that there is a drop year over year in the adult category, and we should find out the reason for this change.
Looking at the chart “Membership by Age Breakdown,” we can see that our under 12 membership is constantly changing. Under 12 members are not the same members year over year. We need to pay more attention to how to retain our members as they become teenagers and adults.”
Ruth and the boys have had five years to “pay more attention” to the problem. What have they been doing for the previous half decade? Not only does the problem persist, it continues to grow, like a cancer.
In her second paragraph she writes, “…and heeding the words of JFK who said, “Effort and courage are not enough without purpose and direction”, the board set out on a journey to accomplish just that; meeting in January for a comprehensive strategic planning workshop. Jean will talk about the work done in this meeting in more detail.”
I write this in late August, at least eight months after the “comprehensive strategic planning workshop.”
What is the “purpose and direction” of USCF? Ruth needs to elaborate on the “purpose” part because the “direction” is known. It is in the numbers, which are heading down. What does the President plan on doing about this? “In the past I have discussed retention and demographics and my goal to have equal number of female and male chess members doubling our membership. I believe that a side effect of the influx of around 70,000 female players will also be that our female players will be stronger. It’s all a numbers game.”
Let me repeat that last part, “IT’S ALL A NUMBERS GAME.”
Ruth is on a mission to vastly increase the number of female players. She has stated this ad infinitum. It is her raison d’etre. She believes in this in the way Joliet Jake and Elwood Blues believed they were “On a mission from God.” She believes she will have “70,000 female players.” The woman is delusional. She also believes the exponential increase in girls will produce a “side effect” of making female players stronger because “It’s all a numbers game.” Her thinking has been refuted by Robert Howard who “holds a PhD in psychology from the University of Queensland in Australia and has research interests in human intelligence, learning and memory, and in the development of expertise. He has carried out many research studies examining expertise in general, using chess data. Until recently, he taught at the University of New South Wales in Sydney. He has authored five books, the latest being Islands in the Orient Sea: Travels in the Edgy 21st-Century Philippines, published in 2012.” Do not take my word for it; read the refutation yourself in a recent article on Chessbase, “Explaining male predominance in chess” by Robert Howard (http://en.chessbase.com/post/explaining-male-predominance-in-chess)
Certainly Ruth has been made aware of the article, yet she has chosen to disbelieve it because it does not conform to her thinking. It took many people a long time to wrap their minds around the fact that the earth was not flat.
After five years on the board, three as President, Ruth has a goal and tells us about it, “So my goal is to double USCF membership. What about retention? Recall the earlier chart of of membership by age and the dropoff at 11-12 years old? A jigsaw puzzle we need to solve for sure.” Unfortunately, the woman is still puzzled after all these years.
Let us consider a possible reason for the staggering numbers by which these children drop out by age thirteen. What happens to a child at that age? It is called puberty. The chart shows, “67% of our girl players are 12 and under.” This drops to 11% in the 13-15 age group. With these numbers staring her in the face, President Ruth has the audacity to write that there will be an, “… influx of around 70,000 female players.” Yeah, right. What are the odds of such an occurrence?
I thought about Ruth Haring while reading an interview with former World Human Chess Champion Vladimir Kramnik on the chess24 website (https://chess24.com/en/read/news/24-000-goal-for-chess-documentary) Vlad said, “As a chess player in any situation the first thing you do is always think logically – if I do this what will the guy do? But in fact many people just don’t think this way. For a chess player it’s automatic. You play a move and you always think about what the answer of your opponent will be. In fact this is also something which is very useful in life. I see this in many areas, especially politics. Modern politicians are lacking it a lot, because they just don’t think, in my opinion. I’m very unpleasantly surprised by the mistakes they’re making because they just don’t think in this way. They’re just thinking about their moves, not trying to calculate the moves of their opponent.”
Let us consider how it may affect USCF to have an influx of 70,000 girls on chess by considering what the effect has been on the demographic change since the USCF decided to become, shall we say, more “child friendly.” Former adult players have found other pursuits. I would assume this would continue at an exponential rate. The graph shows there are less than five hundred members in the 20 year-old age group; 473 to be specific. That is an average of less than TEN PER STATE! Why is this so? By age twenty only 2% of the females are left in the numbers. TWO PERCENT! Could it be that a twenty year-old male, who is becoming a man, does not wish to continue playing a game with grammar school age children, especially preteen girls? Many comments can be found on the USCF forum concerning comments made by young male adults saying chess is considered a “children’s game.” These males have left childhood behind and are preparing to enter the adult world. Yet after five years on the board, three as President, Ruth Haring is “puzzled.” It is obvious the USCF is purposeless and heading in the wrong direction. It’s in their own numbers.
Armchair Warrior 