Magnus Carlsen’s Wager

World Human Chess Champion, Magnus Carlsen

Magnus “The Beard” Carlsen

being named “Global Ambassador” for Unibet (https://en.chessbase.com/post/magnus-carlsen-global-ambassador-unibet) shocked

and rocked the pooh-bahs of US Chess. Sources report those involved with US Kiddie Chess “have their underwear in a knot and panties in a wad,” after learning the World Chess Champ (Some have begun referring to Magnus as the “World Chess Chump”) Magnus Carlsen, decided to head on over to…

It has also been reported some pooh-bahs have been staggering around the office…

…wringing their hands while uttering, “Woe is me” and “Woe is USChess.” Everyone has completely forgotten about the deadly virus unleashed by the Chinese (https://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-7922379/Chinas-lab-studying-SARS-Ebola-Wuhan-outbreaks-center.html) because to them the use of the word “bet” or “wager” used in conjunction with the word “Chess” is anathema. One executive was seen crying like a baby as she stumbled around HQ wailing…

One Chess schoolmarm was heard lamenting the fact that, “Magnus used to be such a fine, clean-cut type fellow. Then he grew that scraggly beard and fell in with the wrong crowd.”

Another flatly said, “Putin is behind this because the nefarious Russians are known to foment dissension and are behind EVERYTHING!”

Heads nodded in total agreement.

The largest pooh-bah of all, The Big Guy, aka the “Fat Man,”

could be heard, even outside the building, (with some swearing the Fat Man was shedding tears) exclaiming:

It was more than a little obvious the US Chess brain trust was coming unglued when one asked, “What’s next? The Armchair Warrior writing a column for Chess Lifeless?”

There was total agreement when one said, “This is a real low blow from Magnus.”

 

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